SaOtoshigami
by Bowpurity
Summary: Rather then focusing on 'galges', Keima Katsuragi, the God of Conquest has decided to focus on Girls that are in front of his eyes. When the first VRMMORPG appears, tempting him with seven heroines to save. He takes a dive, and ends up getting caught. This is an AU of SAO, where things are more light hearted, more real, and most importantly, more absurd than normal.
1. Chapter 1

There was once a man whom was known as Kayaba Akihiko. His dreams was one of a world of his creation, of a place where a floating castle exist, and where monsters and humans alike live in strife. He was not an evil man, but he was not a good one either. Ignoring about the moralities of life. Ignoring the wishes of others, he would sacrifice many, even his own life to achieve the dream.

There was a boy whom was known as Keima Katsuragi. His dreams was one where he could play games the entire year, of a place where he could be alone, silently basking in his fame as the world recognized him as the God of Conquest. No girl character would escape his grasp, no buggy game would stop him from reading their stories. Ignoring the normality of reality, ignoring the social norm, he has already sacrificed the concept of being accepted and would even risk his life for his games. In many ways, he was living his dream, but there were…. complications in his life that he felt unsatisfied by.

In a normal world, these two wouldn't be connected. In a normal story, these two are apart. Keima, for as far gone as he was, was not someone whom would willingly ignore a girl whom is in distress. Kayaba was perfectly fine with letting them die.

So, why did I write all of this down?

Ah, dear readers. I do so for a story. A tale of a man, through the world of virtual reality.

* * *

..

"Kami sama…." Elsie whined, stepping past the unlocked door as she entered into Keima's room. She blinked in surprise as she saw him not playing his games, but instead seem to be preparing a mental drip?

"Erm… Kami sama… What are you doing?" She asked.

He turned to her, and the light from the open door reflected off his glasses as he pushed them up.

"**ELSIE. **I have heard the news. My god of conquest sense is calling. I have found… The closest Ideal!"

He rushed to the side, and would roll a metal box near the bed. It looked like a desktop computer, only…. It looked to be ten times bigger.

"Ah, a new game console?" she asked, though she wondered how he even managed to place the thing in his room. It was bigger than the door opening!

"**ELSIE.** The heroines of the game are calling to me." He replied with a giant smile on his face. He scrambled to attach wires from the machine, to this oddly shaped and bulky headset that he would place on his head.

"This medical bag is full of vitamins to keep me alive. I will be gone for five days." He continued, taking the medical drip and stabbing it into his own arm. "During this time. I will not be able to reply to speak to you. If you need help, ask for Tenri."

"**GAME ON!" **  
Keima fell unconscious on the bed, and Elsie would wince as she saw the six mounted screens lighting up, showcasing the game that Keima would be playing.

"Kami- nii sama!" Elsie whined, moving and shaking Keima's body soon after. He still had that silly grin, and no matter how hard she shook, he did not wake. "Mou… If you are going to be that way… Fine!" With a cute pout, she would turn around and leave his room.

Little did she know that her beloved brother would soon be joining a death game.

* * *

..

"Sword art Online."

Keima could hardly believe it. He had never even heard of the name of the game before. Technology that exist that allowed players to not just play, but enter the world? His hands had shivered when he heard the news.

'It can't be.' He had initially thought to himself. The news came from an anonymous email, whom had left an email link to the game description, as well as even a website where he could buy hardware for the game.

To his extreme surprise, the game was searching for beta hunters. "We seek out a lucky player whom have the technical skills to join in playing the game. Do you seek to challenge the toughest bosses! Will you find the seven heroines of the heart to be saved (*1). Your progress will not be deleted! Apply now and join us today!"

He had sent in an email, scoffing at the idea even as he did. He had sent in an email to the website. 'The god of conquest wishes an audience into this world.'

And here he was. A giant computer, a wide smile, something called a neavegear on his head. Yet he didn't feel any of that.

Standing alone in a field of green grass, he felt the steady firm of the sword on his right hand. He breathed the fresh air of grass, and beheld the view of the bulls in front of him.

He was awed. He was floored. He laughed manically to himself, a grin appearing on his face as it died off. "Now… time to level up, and meet the first heroine!"

The sounds of shattering glass resounded across the field as Keima easily dispatched the level one mob. His sword kept a steady blue glow as he dashed from one to another, ranking up exp and gold.

* * *

…

It was disturbing to suddenly be fighting mobs in one moment and then to hear a chiming sound in the middle of nowhere. He dispatched the last mob with Linear and took a look around him. Magical trails of floating circles appeared from his feet and his sight blurred. The net sight he saw was the starting town illuminated by the setting sun.

Ah? This must be a forced teleport, initiated by the GM. He was standing on a large road that was paved in stone. Medieval streets surrounded by street lamps lighted up, brightening up the town and giving it a homely appearance.

He wasn't alone, and he could see more players being teleported onto the same street as he was on. Keima scoffed silently to himself, moving to sit on a chair to make himself more comfortable. Look at them, these characters… They were all beautiful with differently colored hair. Of course, their real life counterparts are more often than not different from the characters that they play. And half of the girls here are assuredly played by males.

Though… with how immersive this game is, Keima wasn't certain about that last point. He idly wondered if a male would willingly freak out upon finding extra weight on his chest, and the loss of a very important part of himself.

Hmm… He should withdraw that thought. Still, he will never understand these online players. Keima was only here to save these heroine in the game. These NPCs whom he knew were fully female, and were waiting out there to save him.

If he didn't, how else could they call him the god of conquest?

He ignored the mutterings of the crowd, silently noting that they were being angry at this occasion? They can't log out? Why… of course he could… Could he? Opening the menu and scanning through it, Keima would flinch as he noticed the missing 'log out' button.

"It's useless, you know." A female voice spoke to him to his right. Keima turned, blinking at a young girl whom looked to be aged 18. Her long blue hair ruffled as she opened up her own menu. "Tsukihime12", her name was.

"What do you mean?" he replied.

"I've played in the close beta. It's annoying that my progress was wiped, but I didn't even manage to save my username! Someone stole it from me." She pouted adoringly. "Keima… Is that your real name? Silly, to be using your real name online. It's quite plain and we're in this world of fantasy, you know?"

* * *

"

He scoffed in return. "This is the ideal." He spoke. "I'm not like you. I'm proud of myself, for I live in the ideal. Why would I not use my name? I am the god of conquest. There is no need for me to hide myself. Besides, it's a sign of respect. When you speak to a heroine, you always give your honest self to them."

"Heroine? Who may they be? Are you speaking about myself?" She asked in amusement.

"Don't joke with me. I speak about the heroines, the ideal! Those girls whom are waiting out here in the game, waiting for us to save them." A devil's grin was on his face as he turned to her, and she shivered to herself. "From 2d, to 3d, to virtual reality, the heroines of the ideal are supreme!"

Tsukihime12 looked stunned, and her face would narrow in anger, but before she could retort back the bottom of the second floor, that was perhaps a few hundred meters above all the players were suddenly checkered in red.

Looking closer, one would notice the red checkered pattern had words of 'warning' and 'system announcement' in them.

'_Ah, a GM announcement'_ Keima thought to himself. _'Let's get this annoyance out of the way.'_

From the middle of the system pattern, a blood red liquid oozed down. It didn't fall straight down, instead, the liquid seemed to be falling into the shape of a giant humanoid, with a hooden robe draped around it. It's face was inky darkness.

"**Players, I welcome you all to my world. My name is Kayaba Akihiko. Right now, I am the only person who can control this world."**

This was the man whom contacted Keima, and he silently thanked the man in his heart.

"**I think that most of you have discovered the fact that the Log Out button has disappeared from the main menu. This is not a bug. It is all a part of Sword Art Online's system. Until you get to the top of this castle, you cannot log out of your own free will."**

The GM paused, and murmurings could be heard within the crowd.

(Author note: Kayaba speech copied from SAO, read to better understand the world of sword art online)

* * *

"**...also, the disruption or dismantling of the Nerve Gear from the outside is strictly forbidden. If these things are attempted, the signal sensors in your Nerve Gear will emit a strong electromagnetic pulse, destroying your brain and stopping all of your basic functions.**

**To be a little more specific, disconnection from an outside source of electricity for ten minutes, being cut off from the system for more than two hours, or any attempt to: unlock, dismantle, or destroy the Nerve Gear. If any of these conditions are met, the brain destruction sequence will start. These conditions have been made known to the government and the public through mass-media in the outside world. On that note, there have been several cases where the relatives or friends have ignored the warnings and tried to forcefully remove the Nerve Gear. The result, regretfully 213 players have already exited this game, and the real world, forever.**

**Players, there is no need to worry about the bodies you left on the other side. As of this moment, all TV, radio, and Internet media are repeatedly reporting this situation; including the fact that there have been numerous deaths. The danger of having your Nerve Gear taken off has already all but disappeared. In a moment, using the two hours I have provided, all of you will be transported to hospitals or similar institutes and be given the best treatment. So you can relax and concentrate on beating the game.**

**But I ask of you all to understand that «Sword Art Online» is no longer a simple game. It is a second reality... From now on, any form of revival in the game will no longer work. The moment your HP reaches 0, your avatar will be gone forever. And at the same time... ...your brain will be destroyed by the Nerve Gear.**

**Players, there is only one way to be freed from this game. As I have said before, you must get to the top of Aincrad, the one hundredth floor, and defeat the final boss that resides there. All players still alive at that time will be immediately logged out of the game. I give you all my word.**

**Also I will show you evidence that this is the only reality. In your inventories, there will be a gift from me. Please confirm this.**

**You will all most probably be wondering, "Why." Why am I —the creator of both the Nerve Gear and SAO, Kayaba Akihiko— doing something like this? Is this a sort of terrorist attack? Is he doing this to ransom us?**

**These are not the reasons why I am doing this. Not only that, but for me, there is no longer a reason or a purpose in doing this. The reason is because... this situation itself was my purpose in doing this. To create and watch this world is the only reason I have created the Nerve Gear and SAO. And now, everything has been realized.**

**...Now, I have finished the official tutorial for «Sword Art Online». Players—I wish you luck."**

* * *

Keima was quite put off about the entire situation. He seemed to have gotten himself into another terrible mess. So many bad situations had happened to him, that he felt that he was almost used to the entire situation of death and the like. In his inventory, a flashing item prompted him to use it. Hand Mirror The gift from Kayaba that turns your character avatar into how you actually look in real life. He scoffed to himself as he looked about, hearing the complains of the many players whom were mourning or being angry at this death game.

'Should I use this?' Keima thought to himself, but he shook his head, closing his inventory. 'There's no need to. I made my avatar exactly how I look like.'

He looked to the side, at Tsukihime12. A young girl had taken her place, with very short and unruly kept black hair. Her facial features were hidden, as she was crying into her knees, curled up on the bench.

He hesitated for a bit upon seeing her state, sighing to himself as he stood and left the starting town. He never liked the crowds.

'_This death game… I have to win it within five days or else I'm dead. What a mess.'_

There's no time to wait. He can sleep when he feels like sleeping. In front of him, he could see a black clad teenager rushing out of the games, probably having the same idea as he did.

Heading off alone, the God of Conquest would have no idea on the amazing adventure that he is in.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes.

Well, here we go. (again)

..

I can't be bothered about level comparisons to canon, and honestly, you shouldn't either. Making levels up as I go.

I honestly wanted to skip ahead but the story must go in order…

This wasn't exactly the vision I had when I started writing SaOtoshigami. I wanted to focus more on the NPCs rather than the system. But eh, I wanted Keima to have some start impact, because it'll be important much later on.

Edit: damn it, turns out I researched into level again -_-. Hmm… is progressive canon? Eh… probably not, but why not.

Edit2: fuuuuuuuu ended up giving tsukihime the spotlight. Totally not in my intention. I promise more Keima after this. He's just not the sort whom would give an outburst.

Edit 3: I need to gather keima quotes… I can't get a grasp on them.

* * *

**SaOtoshigami 2 :The first boss fight**

It has been a month since the start of SAO. Keima's level was at 10, and he was hard pressed to find mobs strong enough for him to obtain an efficient way of leveling. He was fine with a little grind, but when one calls for the death of five hundred mobs in order to level, he had to throw in the towel.

Not that he was the only one feeling this way. Other players whom were at level nine or eight were all feeling this pressure to level. This impatience. Among one of those players were Tsukihime12, whom had stubbornly refused to let anyone call her by her true name. Not that it mattered to him, but he had long since realized that they needed all the help they could get to defeat the first floor boss.

It worried him, how long the progress took. The layout of each floor in the game was as follows. Town, with fields outside, and then a floor dungeon which is guarded by a field boss, and inside of the floor dungeon there were multiple levels.

Levels within levels, Keima hated that. It was a mechanism to slow down a player's progress. If there's twenty levels at floor 1, how many levels will floor 100 have? One thousand?

He hoped that Kayaba was not that sadistic of a game designer.

Regretfully, he had missed the sight of the field boss, and it's death but he had managed to find the entry to the floor boss room. He had tried to solo it, but realized soon after that doing so would be horribly inefficient and ran away. Also, there was a hidden risk here. In day two, an information broker named Argo had created and somehow distributed a pamphlet in SAO titled Strategy Guide by Area, and being a death game, it told all the players on the many risks and basic playstyles of SAO.

It appeared that the boss in the first floor would switch it's weapon to a Talwar once two thirds of its hp was depleted. But when Keima had fought against it, the weapon that was strapped to its side was too slim and too narrow to be a talwar.

So, here he was, at the first floor boss fight meeting, feeling bored out of his mind. Unexpectedly, a familiar looking name sat next to him, though Tsukihime12 said nothing as she focused on the speaker ahead.

He paid little attention to the inspiring speech that Diabel, the organizer gave, but his eyes sharpened upon Kibaou whom interrupted the gathering.

"In this group, there should be about 5 or 10 people that need to apologize."

"Apologize? To whom?" Diabel inquired.

"Ha, isn't it obvious. To the 2000 people who died up until now. Those guys had a monopoly on everything, and so 2000 people died in one month! Isn't that right?!"

"—Kibaou-san. **Those guys** who you're referring to are the original beta testers, right?"

"Those beta testers, on the day this shitty game started, dashed from the Starting City and disappeared. They left behind over 9000 people who didn't know left from right. They monopolized good hunting grounds and profitable quests, got only themselves stronger equipment and then always feigned ignorance about it afterwards…There should also be some in this group, some sly people hiding their beta status and thinking of joining the Boss Fight.

I say we should make them kneel down and spit out all of the gold and items they stockpiled for the sake of this operation, and that they cannot be entrusted with the lives of our party members!"

What a shameless mock cruel antagonist and right about now, wouldn't there be a protagonist? True to his predictions, a man named Agil stood and spoke up.

"Kibaou-san, what you mean to say is that many beginners died because original beta testers did not take care of them, and that they should accept that responsibility and apologize along with giving reparations for it, is that correct?"

"That's right! If they had not left us behind, 2000 people would not have had to die! Moreover, they were not just any 2000 people, most of them were top-ranked veterans from other MMOs! If those stupid testers had properly shared information, items and money, then there would have been 10 times as many people here right now…no, by now we would have broken through the 2nd or 3rd floor!"

"That's what you say, Kibaou-san. I don't know about the money and items, but I believe that there is in fact information from them."

The man, Agil opened his item menu, and within seconds, a book materialized in his hands, and he showed it to the crowd. "This book was free, and it has information, all information that was given to us all within days from the start of SAO. This information, the **Strategy guide by Area** was surely from a beta tester."

The crowd was silent as they waited for Agil to proceed, but to all of their surprise, he sat down instead.

Kibaou fist was clenched tightly, and he shouted back up. "So what! Even if they give information, they should still be the support when we most needed it! Those bastards left us alone! They should beg for forgiveness, and give us their gold and equipment in return!"

***STOMP***

All eyes were on Tsukihime12 on his right when she stood, having jumped once to attract attention to herself. She raised a finger, pointing it at Kibaou in defiance.

"You bastard! The deaths of two thousand people. Do you seek revenge for their sake or do you only wish to get the gold and equipment for yourself? Those whom put effort into the game will get far. Those who do not will remain behind. I'm a beta tester, and on the second day, I gathered together a group of ten people and trained them!"

Her face was angry, and she dropped her hand, looking to her right, where her 'friends' were, and nodded to them.

"I wasn't alone! Many others were like me! We gathered and taught and helped as many as we could to survive! I wanted to train more people, but do you know what happened? Those that I approach, all of them were still moping in misery, moping in sadness and they were unable to act. There's no point in teaching those useless ones!

Don't blame only the beta testers. Blame those whom died themselves! Blame Kayaba, blame this damn human nature whom each found a way to cope! Those whom have good equipment right now, they earned it! I rather leave it in their hands where they can deal DPS! Don't you dare blame them for the deaths!"

Kibaou scoffed, but he looked away. "I'm leaving. I refuse to cooperate with a beta tester."

He walked out, leaving the rest of the players alone.

* * *

…

Diabel had regained control over the boss discussion soon after. It seemed that after the mishap, the discussions proceeded without a problem.

"So once again, when the boss life falls to its final hp bar, 3 Kobold would appear and it will switch it's weapon to a talwar and be in a berserk state. Now, the skills of a talwar is a single target AOE smash.. so we have to be wary about that."

"Hey wait." Keima injected, being in group F. "I scouted the boss by myself. The weapon at its side, it's not a talwar, the boss was holding onto a Nodachi. "

The group turned as one onto Keima. Many voices spoke as one, and he could only get a glimpse of the words that they say.

"You scouted the boss?"  
" Ha, brave man! How did you survive?"  
"Weren't you worried about your life? Did you go in alone? You'll be killed."  
"Not just the boss, but there were four monsters in total in that room, did you kite?"  
"That man is insaneeeee!"  
"Why did you do it?"

Keima raised both of his hands, shouting to have his voice heard over the rest.

"Hmmth. Let me teach you something. I've lost my fear for my life after the sixth day.. also…"

Keima took a step back, pushing his glasses up as he activated the 'gloom' emoticon, causing an anime style raincloud to appear over his head.

"**If there are no flowers in the world, seek flowers in heaven."**

"…"

Once more, it seemed that he had to explain things to them...

"Basically, there are no girls to be conquered on floor 1. I've searched through all 60 km of this floor just to be certain. So, there's bound to be a girl to be saved on floor 2."

A random girl interrupted him in curiosity. "Um… you do realize this is a mmorpg right? There are no girls to be conquered or saved here."

"**Oh foolish lambs of low belief. Let time show us who'll be right."**

"…"

A cough sounded out, as Diabel regained control over the discussion once more.

"Right, so about the Nodachi skill… what are they?"

"Ah, there's this AOE skill, where you will slash around yourself and stun mobs whom get hit. It has a super long cooldown though."

The 1st floor boss discussions went on.

* * *

…

The day eventually came.

Once again, forty five members gathered together. Their hearts were set, their goals were steady and they marched in excitement towards the boss. Sounds of chatter and laughter was heard endlessly from them, even as they dispatched the few mobs that dared attack the group. They were all in good spirits.

Well, perhaps not all of them. Walking alone at the very front of the group, Keima Katsuragi was feeling very impatient with the group. They were all walking to slow! If it was just him…

Not for the last time, he forced his feet to slow down.

"Anxious?" Someone spoke behind him. He looked back, nodding to the short black haired girl. Her once unruly kept hair was combed neatly, and her hair was at shoulder length now. Her green eyes showed her amusement. "Why are you so eager, Keima?"

"In all the games I've played." He paused. "In dating sims. In sport games. In tactical games, in action games. Even in real life baseball, never, never have I been in a one month tutorial!" His teeth were visibly gritted together. "Also! There's no PFP in this game. Not only can't I play my game, my website is being outdated…." He looked depressed for a moment. "Furthermore, I thought it was all over after five days… But now, it's been one month…. I'm also not sure how I'm still alive or still here."

"Hmm, what do you mean?" Tsukihime12 questioned.

"…. Never mind." He walked quicker, leaving the girl behind.

***Friend request! Tsukihime12 wants to be your friend!***

**Yes/No**

A Mmorpg was naturally a social game, and there was no benefit to denying the request. Yet, there was no benefit to accepting the request as well. Hmm… this scenario felt very familiar to him… It's like he was in 'Nami-nami panic' … only, the girl was far cuter, and there were guns instead of swords.

In that game, regardless of the choice here, she would be a potential love interest to him. He didn't want that. Honestly, he didn't want to have a relationship at all. So the best thing to do here would be to press "Yes" and ignore all messages that she would send him.

And that's what he did.

* * *

….

The boss fight went very well. Players were all around, taking a single hit, switching, healing and repeating the process over and over. The boss attacks were telegraphed, and all the players easily dodged, forewarned by the shouting voice of Diabel. Finally, it came to the last life bar on the boss, and it threw the axe away, drawing the nodachi that was on its belt.

"**Defend!"**

Shields were raised as everyone braced themselves. The rapiers and sword users ran back as shield users took their places, kneeling with their shields held against the boss.

And not a moment too soon, for with the nodachi in hand, Illfang leaped high into the air, the sword in his hand releasing a crimson beam of light as it started to swing from left to right. It struck down among all the players in front of it, shield users and sword users alike.

Three hundred and sixty degree ranged katana sword skill. The heavy ranged attack Tsumujiguruma

They had already discussed this, anyone whom was hit by the skill would be stunned , but there was a way to block it, and that was too block your eyes from the skill…. Due to this, only a few players were affected by the 'stun' affect.

The shield users stood, all taking drinks from a potion before they spreaded out. They didn't surround the boss, all of them carefully noting to not do that to it. Once more, they maintained their strategy. Taking hits, switching, and healing up. Though 4 more Ruin Kobold Sentinels had spawned, and even though the boss were rapidly using skills that had high damage, it could not defeat the determined and prepared party of forty five.

Soon enough, the boss fell. The biggest obstacle which had kept eight thousand players confined in the first floor had finally been removed.

Cheers had resounded, cries of happiness from all players as the laughed. Exp, loot and the like were distributed to everyone.

Keima didn't care about any of that. Without looking back, he stepped forward. His footsteps soon broke into a run as he ran up a staircase and opened the door to the second floor of Aincrad. A splendid view welcomed him. Seeing the mountains at the distance, and breathing in the scent of cleanly cut grass, the view lifted the burden on his heart.

Now… where were those heroines hiding? He ran to the right, heading off the road and towards a destination that only god knows.

* * *

…

**Author notes**

That wraps it up! Fun parts start next chapter.

45 players is intended.

^not a grammar error.


End file.
